Needing Strength

This is one of those times when I feel so blue, sad and scared. For some reason my fear of stepping back into teaching hit me. I knew I needed the time of the summer for God to heal my heart from the pain of last year, but I did not realize how afraid I was of teaching again. Last year was painful - I went from being successful in my profession and loving being with my students, to dreading most days and feeling like a continual failure.

When I first went to Hallsville to check out the teaching position I knew this was the school God was leading me too. I had been praying for Jon to have peace about the job option God was calling me to, because I had no peace - it kept shifting! Without even knowing my prayers, Jon told me that first time at Hallsville that he had peace in his heart about this school. From that point on, God opened the door in every way for me to have a high school teaching position.

I need God's strength and power right now to move through and past this pain. I have been reminded again from Ephesians that God's incomparibly great power is available for those who continually believe - and that this power is like the power God used in raising Christ from the dead and placing Him at His right hand with everything under Him. I am not sure how to take hold of this, except to ask God to work in me... I feel powerless.. afraid.. like I am going to fail.. and like I want to run.. and in the midst of all of this I am coming before God asking and believing with as much belief as I can that He can work His power and give me strength to not only face this new year of teaching but to look forward to it and restore my passion.